From Tennessee to Taos
by
Emily Roley
In October
of 2014 I found myself sitting in a boat on a deep and and lazy stretch of the
Colorado River a few miles from the entrance of the Grand Canyon. On either
side deep red cliffs towered a thousand feet up, ending in a small sliver of
sky which ferried a soft light down onto
my shoulders. It was my 35th birthday and I had spent the last week
chasing trout up and down this river alongside my two best friends. The engine
was gently idling and we were all sipping whiskey, laughing at our good fortune,
when our guide suddenly cut the motor. Instantly, we all fell silent and a profound
stillness invaded. In that moment my life changed forever. I heard a voice as
crystal clear as the waters below me. Go
become a fly fishing guide.
For some,
to simply pack up and shelve a seemingly normal life in exchange for an
uncertain one would be insane. For me, however, it was inevitable. I was living
in my hometown Nashville, Tennessee, working a normal job, living in a house I
owned, surrounded by family and lifelong friends. It was a good life, safe and
predictable. I would go about my day as my familiar
self, thinking repetitive thoughts, performing predictable tasks, laying out
plans and expecting the sun to inevitably rise. But below the monotony there
was something brewing.
Fly fishing has been an integral part of my life since
childhood. I was introduced to the sport by my father, a man equal parts
southern preacher, poet, musician
and trout bum. He held the belief that life was wide, deep and full of wonder
and it was on our weekly trips to the river where I learned to look for magic
in everything. Selecting which fly to fish
became a devotion on the freedom of choice. Getting skunked was a lesson on
temperance. The sound of the river was the most ancient song. What was catching
trout? Well, that was the greatest gift from the gods. As I stumbled through my
teens and limped through my twenties the river became the place where I would
go, wade through the turmoil of youth and eventually find peace. Flash forward
to a woman halfway through her 30’s adrift in life, as on a boat, in the middle
of the Colorado with a metaphorical lighting strike still smoldering at her
feet.
What happened after
the lightning strike? That magical moment turned instantly into practical
planning, a laundry list of tying loose ends. Becoming a fly fishing guide
would take tenacity, a lot of luck and a complete overhaul of my life. So
immediately upon returning home to Nashville I began sprinting toward this
goal. I did research, made phone calls, heard myself again and again trying to
explain my epiphany to deaf ears. Finally, in a mix of determination and fate,
I found a job with the Taos Fly Shop and six months later had boxed all that
was important, sold all that was not, told my family I loved them and headed
west.
From the outside the fly fishing guide life is romantic,
it is barely a job at all. Ultimately, we get paid to go fishing right? Not
exactly. As newly minted adults must learn how to fend for themselves their
first year of college so must first year guides adjust to the reality of what
the job entails. My first season was eye
opening. Yes, there is romance to be found but mostly there are impossible
tangles, errant casts, hooks in trees, hooks in your clothes, hooks in your
skin, sunburn, swift currents, loose rocks, mosquitoes and rattle snakes.
However, if you can handle these challenges and happen to be on the river when
the fish are feeding it’s the greatest job in the world. I am four years in and
I can say, without exaggeration, that guiding a beginner into their first fish
on a fly rod produces a feeling that has, so far, been unmatched in my
professional life.
This is due, in part, to the holistic essence of the
experience. Fly fishing is not only
about catching fish. It is about the ritual, the ceremony. Laying all your gear
out the night before, making sure you have everything. Waking before the sun,
warming the car, pressing the coffee and checking the map. It’s about solitude.
Being alone on the river, carrying everything you need and leaving all else
behind, spending hours with the sound of the current as your only companion. It’s
about friendship and family, taking time out from the day to day to make new
memories and perhaps establish new traditions. It’s about nature. Knowing a
river so intimately you can walk it with your eyes closed. Spending every
season on the same stretch, observing what changes and what stays the same, identifying
the flora and fauna. And yes, it’s about catching trout, whether your first or
your 10,000th. As a guide I get to foster this experience and as I
said before it gives me a reward that is unparalleled.
My most memorable trip to date was in my first year
guiding. The clients were a mother and young, teenage daughter. The first thing
I observed upon meeting them was their contagious enthusiasm. They were
fulfilling a dream, checking a box on the bucket list. The second thing I noted
was the transparent, playful and entirely unique nature of their relationship.
They would alternate between stinging jabs and sincere compliments. It was only
an hour into the trip when the mother grabbed my arm as we were walking up the
river and said, “I can’t tell you how special this is for us.” I remember that
we caught fish, although I can’t tell you how many. What I can tell you is that
a deeper bond was created between mother and daughter that day, a bond that
will bless them both for the rest of their lives. In the intervening 4 years I
have guided these women 8 times and had the privilege of watching that teenage
girl turn into a young woman.
This mother and daughter story is not uncommon. Time and
time again I watch as the river becomes a conduit, reconnecting you and I to
one another by tethering us for a few short hours to nature. It truly is
something to watch. If you are reading this and find yourself curious I urge
you to give it a try. Maybe you have passed by the river for your entire life
and always wondered what it would be like to learn how to fly fish but never
knew where to start. Perhaps, like me, this is your adopted home and you find
yourself in a limitless landscape and are craving adventure. We have no time
but the present. After all, the days are long but the years are short. The
river, however, is ancient.
As I’ve told my story over the years I often get asked,
“Why Taos?” The simplest answer? Taos picked me. It is vast and full of magic. In
April of 2015, I pulled my travel trailer up from the south on Highway 68. There
was construction and I was halted just below the crest of the mesa. As I sat
mashing on my brakes I could see the very tip of Wheeler Peak and felt my heart
start to thrum in my chest. The traffic started to inch forward, slowly, and I
was treated to a tempered reveal of the landscape like a scroll being rolled
open inch by inch. The Sangre De Cristo Range came down from the sky and met
the sage covered mesa into which the Rio Grande had cut a giant, jagged slash.
I was instantly in love. Years later I can still feel the gravity of that
moment. I had followed the river and it had finally brought me home.
Wow! What an excellent read! So well written and expressive of feelings that many of us can only envy. We have enjoyed our annual outings with Ron, and it appears that you two are matched perfectly!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing; what a beautiful post!
ReplyDeleteLove love love you Emily- reading this again after a few years and contemplating a trip out West to see you, your new family and spend time on the river with you. What a beautiful story!
ReplyDelete